Wednesday 23rd August 2023
After all the hustle and bustle of London, I needed a day like today. A cocoon day. A day for slow sleep release and only climbing in the shower later. A day for regrouping and catching up over the last 64 days that I've not been in Scotland. A chance to do laundry and have a gap in the weather to hang it on the line. A chance to do some recon of emails and basic but necessary stuff.
I'm so lucky to have a place to do all of this in. I'm so fortunate to have siblings that support my wispy ways of travel and life, even if it makes little sense to them.
In a brief voice note conversation with 'my' London flat owner, I realised that somehow my life values have completely shifted. She's 13 years younger than me and was questioning her life after a holiday in Singapore. I smiled when she said that I'm just doing life and making the best of it. Because I am. When I explained how little planning I have done to get to this life point, but my job was one of really just taking the initial baby step of faith, and that I hadn't imagined the actual how. My how had looked very different. My idea of travelling would be supported by a sophisticated, income generating online business because that was the only way I thought I could do this. But I don't have that business set up (yet- lol). In fact one of my clients/supporters/retainers stopped in December last year, so I have even less income than I thought I needed. But I've still somehow managed.
My faith changed after the long months of being forced to stay indoors during lockdown. My urge to live at the sea finally compelled me to do it. To take the risk for a couple of months. The baby step which I took in my baby sized car, over scary mountains alongside fierce trucks, into the great Free State that welcomed me into the Golden mielie fields with open arms (and bnb). That step, was the first one of faith. I didn't know it at the time, I thought it was just me taking a leap. But it's faith in the belief that something good is going to happen. It turns out to be something better than good, it's brilliant. In
Every
Single
Day.
Today was the brilliant feeling of a cosy blanket over my legs in a cool Scotland. The brilliant feeling in being able to sit with my sister in law as she wrestles with her fresh grief. The brilliant feeling of a brother who is so knowledgeable and logical. The brilliant feeling of the internet and the ease that it's brought into my world.
The brilliant feeling that I got another day to be on this beautiful blue planet.
Yup. I have faith.
Comments