Yesterday.
The fresh wound is the first thing I think of, which was annoyingly early at 3am. I'm usually quite good at not thinking 'daytime' things on bathroom breaks in the night but my thoughts ran to them all. Unfortunately every single possible option came streaming in like this massive download of thoughts. I tossed and turned until I heard the first Olive Thrush bird begin his pre dawn song. In my nursing days last century I welcomed the break of the dark on night shift almost like a reassurance that everything will be alright.
This morning, it was and it wasn't....alright, but my body relaxed enough to sleep until all other birds had been woken up..
The day felt like a bit of a daze. Trying to coordinate flights, times, hotels and siblings with the added hassle of the global pandemic and international flights had me feeling even more haggard. Eventually I made my decision to fly down for the funeral instead of drive because I think I may just be too tired to drive.
In saying that, I did a revision of my road trip plans with a more direct route to my historical tour of Maatjiesfontein which I booked and paid for last year. A part of me felt a little guilty that I am rushing away from the clan but there's another part of me that knows the cleansing air of the Karoo will help me feel my grief.
Molly knows that I am planning a trip, she's sticking quite close to me just making sure that I get enough dog hair on me to remind me that she's important.
Dog love
Comments