Sunday 2nd April 2023
Today was a rest day. Post event recovery and it was blissful. My plans of joining a friend on a trip to Pretoria were cancelled early enough to give me the opportunity to just stay lying down. I didn't know I needed a day like today so much.
During the midday loadshedding, I went into the garden and did some weeding. It felt great to tug at the roots of the plants and I recalled how this lawn got me through so many different stages of my life. It reflected back those years of avoiding studying during my degree. It consoled me during numb phases. It eased the numbness of confused days, grief and anxiety of my early years. Feeling the soil give way is therapeutic for me and I've always enjoyed weeding. I'm not much of a gardner but spotting the thicker stems under the tough kikuyu grass becomes almost an obsession for me. The focus calms me although it is rather sad that I'm ending the life of a plant.
I'd never thought of the usefulness of weeds until I attended a weekend workshop in my late thirties when the vegan teacher pointed out that perhaps the weeds were providing the nutrients that the soil needed. It did make me think about it today and I compared pulling the problem weeds out to my energy psychology therapy. I look for the problem thoughts and beliefs and neutralise them. Today I filled a bucket of weeds and thanked the plants for helping the soil.
I also emptied my car of my tour props. I'd left everything in my boot yesterday and remembered the days of taking weeks to unpack almost as if I didn't want the trip to be over. So I decided to be a bit more organised and keep everything together which helped me process it all. Just as I finished, I received a call from fellow guide to hear how I'd gotten on, loving the support.
The rest of my day had TV hallmark music playing in the background while 'Chesapeake Shores' kept their picture perfect life playing as I scrolled through different jobs and opportunities on the workaways website. It's a fascinating world out there and in here- I have a grateful one.
Comentários