Monday 6th March 2023
I had a tricky day today. All over the show- emotions wise and I have been rather teary too, which isn't a problem but rather, more surprising. Most of my life I've been like this, having a tear bubbling under the surface, except for the last 8 years. When my dear friend died, I froze.
Emotionality redirected. So today, catching my eyes water quickly and suddenly was indeed a surprise.
It was the usual patterns that resurfaced. And some old stories which I thought I'd cleared, but obviously there's still some scar tissue. One of my wounds is feeling worthless and invisible. Today, I just felt particularly vulnerable. Then I chatted with some friends and then I felt better.
A sudden downpour on my townhouse, meant water leaks through the garage ceiling, so my tenant alerted me to it. I drove round noticing when the roads got wet, as my sister's area was dry. The damage isn't too serious, on hindsight, but it just triggered another round of emotions. I took pictures and sent them to the body corprate as the roof repairs aren't long done.
My mood lifted when I drove over to the beautiful building 'The View' for the Scottish Regiment meeting and dropped off the donated miliary goods from the Val village. I chatted with some of the ex soldiers and then drove through rather dark streets back to my west side of town.
Tomorrow will be better. Plus I have a loose plan of visiting a church in Midrand on my way back from my mechanic car oil check.
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