Tuesday 20th December 2022
Da-ra! My new front tooth is cemented in!
This year has definitely been a teeth year for me. I have been reflecting on all of this, obviously from an emotional perspective because that's what I do. My teeth have always been a primary cause of concern. Genes dictated my rather large teeth but small jaws which meant that I had a serious overbite with 'buck teeth'. (Do buck actually have protruding teeth? Mmm, I wonder)
As a young child, my teeth were my worst feature according to me. They stuck out, I bumped them on things and they got me a lot of nasty comments from people. Strangers would call me 'bugs bunny' and my tender heart was shredded. I still flinch when I hear those words. My folks didn't have the money to let me have the 'big gun' railway tracks on my teeth, instead I had a piece of pliable wire which was like barbed wire against a raging bull. It left some cuts but didn't really alter the path.
After I saw myself on my wedding video, I was horrified by how bad my teeth looked. The medical aids of the nineties had adapted so I then went through the torturous, self conscious two years of railway track braces in order to change my teeth. Then I went to a maxillo-facial surgeon who surgically cut both my jaws to move them into a better position. I was like a chipmunk for a few weeks but there was no pain at all. My jaws healed quickly but it took me years to adjust to this face in the mirror.
I knew my teeth were at last, 'normal' when I got hit on my nose by a squash racquet and then a few years later fell on my nose while running. I have a snub nose, so I had no idea how much it could hurt because my teeth always got the brunt of injury. That's why my front tooth had cracked, right down the middle. After a year of temporary measures I knew I'd better get it seen to as I no longer want any emergency treatment on future travels.
Today I returned to my fascinating, friendly new dentist for my new tooth. It feels far more comfortable than my temporary fitting that took me back to my youthful discomfort. I did a video while up Voortrekker Monument and I was mortified by how bad I spoke and how strange I looked. I didn't post it anywhere. The young me judged myself so harshly and all those old habits flooded my memory. I negated, belittled, mocked and ridiculed myself. All in my mind of course, but today I am in awe of what has happened. It was like I stepped into the shoes of that 14 year old, awkward teenager who couldn't fathom her way in a world full of pretty people. The later confidence of the 15 year old me, was life-saving even if it wasn't very deep and was hiding a self full of anxiety. This grown up woman still doesn't know all the answers but I do know that I'm brave, loving, and no longer anxious about life. The new tooth sits better so maybe this signifies a stronger me going forward.
What's up doc?
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