Thursday 30th November 2023
I woke up to a strange sound. It felt quiet but different. Then I realised that it must be snowing. I leapt out of bed to see the flakes floating past the window and I heard myself gasp. The scene was white. I grabbed my camera to video the last few moments of the snow falling. I was grinning when I realised that I was standing over the toasty heater, there would be no snow angels made on that lawn today, brrr!
The sun broke through the clouds late morning and my sister suggested going out for a coffee. The other sister leaves tomorrow for Paris via Nottingham and she won't be back before I leave for South Africa so it was a chance to say goodbye.
We drove down to the beach area to the small coffee shop that we'd visited last year. The waves looked rough and there was some menacing clouds to the south but a rainbow portion showed itself out on the water. I was in high spirits despite the sadness of the occasion. The warm coffee shop felt cosy and the latte went down well as I sat reflecting on this past summer season in Britain.
I'm so fortunate to have two sisters on both side of the equator plus my brother in the mother land. The unforetold benefits of being in a big family have really worked in my favour these past few years and I'm really grateful for these souls who offer me shelter, bed and food, never mind the lifts, advice, welcome and love. The extended family of partners, children and furry comfort are all woven into this wonderful experience that I get to call, my life.
Saying goodbye is definitely getting harder and I was asked today if I'm excited to be going back to South Africa. I thought about it and I realised that it is harder this time, to go back, even with the cold weather and snow. My fast urgency to do/see/rush has eased because I'm truly trusting life in it's own timing. Last year I had my '56' quota rush going on. I had to do it all before the age my mum was when she died. This time I trust my own travel pace, I know that I can make decisions and all my anxiety is gone ( that still amazes me - that I'm not scared). I'm able to be in the moment of now and get a thrill of the snow or a rush of cold air at my throat. I've found my own inner pace of life and I'm loving it. I'm loving it all, apart from the goodbyes...
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