Monday 10th July 2023
This morning had me wake early and wonder where I was, and who was lying in my bed beside me, haha. It was my cruise partner who I was leaving behind as I headed west to visit another settling South African. Cruise friend, Angie starts her work as a carer this week and while I was down south I thought it would be good to do some catch ups. So Angie was driving me to the station and we parted ways with a quick cheerio.
I realised that I was feeling a little anxious about my train journey and I was surprised by it. But when I saw that I'd be going through two stations that I'd journeyed from before, I relaxed. Portsmouth was familiar in a way, but I had visited while doped up on my painkillers from my infected tooth saga last year so I was in awe of how I managed to get anywhere in that state. Once I saw the station building I relaxed, because it was so pretty and on the trains my anxiety had completely disappeared because well, I love trains.
The country side flashed by and the weather dulled but my heart felt happy when I saw my friend in her British car and she drove me to her British house. Her husband is still tying up all the loose ends in SA, so she's on her own at the moment. We discussed her 3 months being here and how she’d settled and struggled and talked about homesickness and the likes. They'd lived here as a young married couple in the late 80s and 90s so the area is familiar to her and now she's looking for jobs and things.
It's fascinating to see so many of my South African friends on this side of the equator. Some working during the summer months and others full time, it is great that us older folk still have opportunities to work this side. I was asked by a different British friend what my plans were. I laughed and said that is one of my hardest things to answer. Right now I'm only planning one week at a time. Before I left South Africa, I knew I had my concerts, my Tiree trip and my cruise but the 10th of July and onwards was the unknown phase of this year's trip.
There's a few loose things planned but it was good hearing myself explain to my friend about my different options and possible new projects and possibly completing old projects. I have to be careful not to judge myself too harshly because I have a very busy, idea filled, multi coloured mind and it seems like I don't finish anything.
But today I remembered that I have completed a blog post every single day for the last two years which is over 760 posts. That's discipline. I've been to places I'd put on my digital dream list years ago and ticked off many 'must sees' and many 'surprise sees'. I've finished a tour guide course in spite of no fixed abode, done a few heritage tours both online and in person while doing research from 13000km away. I've had some online therapy sessions and helped people feel better about themselves. I've seen people I'd promised myself I'd visit over the years. Actually I've finished quite a bit yet I'm still far from done and that's a liberating feeling.
I think it's time to let all the anxieties go, now. Full heart tonight.
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