Self surprise

I never really think of myself as particularly brave. Having spent most of my life feeling afraid but keeping that carefully hidden, I find it strange when a friend recently said she thinks I am so brave. I stopped for a moment and the mental checklist of 1000-reasons-why-I-am-not, rushed to my prefrontal cortex.

• I despise phoning strangers

• I struggle to ask for things

• I am scared of setting goals...

These are just some of the crazy things that refute the 'brave' label.

But today, I was thinking about my decision to say yes to doing an online heritage tour for the local foundation. Yes, I did a tour guide training course with them and yes I loved it. I have considered doing a more formal tour guide course but my Scots blood won't let me fork out the many many Randillos to pay for it, plus, of course we are in the middle of a pandemic. But I said yes to presenting this online course. The trouble is, the subject matter. I was given the topic and because of my inability to remember dates, names and aversion to politics I am feeling a tad out of my depth.

I do however, love a challenge. I know, I just said that I am not brave. But one of my fears is the fear of regret of NOT doing something. So as I explore the best way to tell the topic in my story way, I was playing with some designs on Canva. I don't want to do an injustice to the women I will be discussing nor bore the online audience. I trust that the storyline will fall into place when I stop grappling and let it flow.

Walking the streets of Johannesburg's famous ladies is the reason for my hotel stay and it's quite fitting to get my World Tour of South Africa (WToSA) started from this point.