Tuesday 5th September 2023
I woke up in the night needing to cough and I heard my siblings sleeping soundly. Shuffling to the bathroom for some paracetamol meant that I had to put the light on. My brother said he'd had a really good night's sleep while my sister struggled from around 4am which is when I was tossing and turning. I remembered that I can get by on a chunk of 3 hour sleep so eventually just lay there thinking about Ireland, life and why I have this bug right now. Not many conclusions were made, haha.
As soon as I'd showered, steamed and dressed, I felt much better. We had very loose plans for the day and I haven't read the family tree document properly yet so it was kinda nice to just surrender and let the others decide.
The benefit of having older siblings means that my life was protected in so many ways. I've realised this many times as they paved the way through the world of our parents, enemies and life- for me to feel this carefree. I know it's symbolic really, but after the past couple of years relying purely on my wants and choices, today was a great reminder of being supported in life.
Don't get me wrong, there were times when at primary school, I hated their authoritative ways with thoughts of 'you're not the boss of me...' Now, I understand that at that particular time, yes, they were actually the boss of me and that keeps me safe.
Today was a 'safe' day. It was reinforced when my nimble brother climbed, the very clearly marked 'no trespassing' gate, to see if there was a trace of the property that perhaps our Maternal Grandfather had lived in. While we waited, I ate some bramble berries off the bushes and pondered the lives that had lived in the area. He came back successful with a photo of an empty boarded up house that could have had some trace of Thomas Oakes, we can't be sure. But the place, Ballaverty was found on the map.
We had a gorgeous, sunny day but by 3pm I'd started feeling really rough, so decided that cuppa soup and rest were the best things for me. It's been a beautiful two days even with my feeling grotty. Tomorrow we head north again for Belfast.
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