Saturday 20th May 2023
I love jigsaw puzzles and life is one big huge puzzle. Tonight I learned about another piece that had been hidden to me simply because I hadn’t been born at the time. I'm still trying to assemble just how this information fits into my mind so I might not explain it properly but I do need to write it out.
I come from a large family with 6 siblings, and I'm second youngest. I've had the buffer of older siblings all my life so have lived really sheltered and free in many ways. My mum was extremely quiet and not a chatty Cathie like her daughter. So there's so much unknown about her life because she died when I was 25. My sister is 8 years older than me so she has more memories of her so I've enjoyed hearing snippets of life before South Africa. Tonight I heard about a piece that happened before I was alive that somehow went 'clink' into my 'now it makes sense' mind.
📷 from the Internet
My mum must've suffered from post partum depression and when my older sister was about 5, mum and the 'girls' were admitted to a Mother and Baby unit. My sister remembers having to sleep in a metal bar cot. We immediately started googling to find out more about these units but the research is scarce. However it helps me understand the mental illness in our family. I also understand why I was determined to figure my broken parts out and studied psychology. I made friends with my crazy. I know that I will ruminate over this piece of mum's history over the next few days but it makes me feel really excited to know this and that in a way, is the confusing part, lol.
Before all of this, we'd had a lovely day with sunshine and church bells. We'd gone on a short drive to find the old churches, (I'm really spoiled by my family). The village of Greatham is a small hamlet with some beautiful homes and a lovely church. The headstones are weathered and old, and the grass was the spongiest lawn, it felt like walking on a really thick carpet.
We then visited a town church, who had their bells ringing long and loud. Afterwards we stopped in at my niece for coffee and doughnuts. Then my sister made me my favourite pudding- rhubarb crumble! Really loving my life!
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