Gratitude

Friday 12th August 2022

I spent the morning trying to sort out my digital stuff and make space on my phone. Looking at all those different picture folders I was amazed at my life. Truly! So many stunning places,  buildings,  nature and people that I have been fortunate enough to experience and explore.

I feel grateful every day. Today my gratitude was towards my beautiful body. It's been under a lot of pressure this trip and it keeps on showing up and carrying me on trains, up stairs, up hills,  on golf courses and it's still carries me forward.  I've been a bit unkind to it, to be honest, criticising my weight,  my skin, my hair... Today I realised how marvelous it's been.  I stuck on my 12kg backpack with no build up or training and came a-wandering. Body squealed a bit but it's mostly been fantastic.

So now my inner dialogue is shifting to one of admiration instead of criticism. The awe of my fingerprints,  the design of my feet,  the sheer miracle of my waterproof skin that holds it all together... I remember being fascinated by the miracle of a tiny baby while nursing, but somewhere along my life, I turned on myself and began to self loathe.

When my lovely great nephews arrived this afternoon, all growing and gangly, I had a thought of how much I hated myself at that age. I so wish that I could magic all teens to not dip into the self loathing space like I did.

But for today, I remembered my own miraculous body, and then I played with the dog and everything was right in the world.