Monday 25th July 2022
Some days are painfully etched into a dark memory forever. Today is one of those dates that even though I have lived through 31 of them, the 25th of July is forever known as the day my mum died. In spite of all other great things that happened or could happen on this date, it's been stained by heartache.
I was aware of this on opening my eyes this morning, so I put on the LM radio app, at 6am my time and let the sounds of Johannesburg play with my mind while I dozed until closer to 8am. I was very happy to not have to worry about work so I let my thoughts play with grief and places and the energy of space.
Glasgow is a city that my late sister owned. Even though I was born here, lived until the age of 5 and again at 20, it's still the space that has Joanne's imprint on it. On our taxi ride from Stirling we passed the block of flats that my Gran lived in and I looked about thinking that this city is my history. A city where I don't have to apologize for living in, nor feel like an alien in, yet, there's still so much to explore and alien feelings to address. The ghosts of the past are just one facet of my past that I no longer want to hide from, nor apologize for.
I'm grateful for the 56 years my mum had on the planet, they shaped the woman I am. Still miss you mum!
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