Tuesday 19th September 2023
I'm a feeling person. Yes, touchy feely, as in tactile and textures but I also feel things really intensely. When I was young, this resulted in my being super sensitive and had so many allergic reactions to most testable allergens. As a young teenager we had to remove the family cat because I'd developed such an extreme allergy to it. As I've aged, my sensitivity lessened but cats were still a trigger for me. It was only after I learned my therapy of Tapping that my reactions slowed down. I never actively tapped on my allergies but I did become less sensitive to the world.
Emotionally this sensitivity got me into all sorts of drama of others, and I'd become entangled in their stories. But that too, also shifted as I aged (and tapped) My running also helped define my over responsive nature because no matter how much I wanted to help a fellow runner, they had to take the steps themselves. I began to see people's strengths instead of their perceived broken parts, and it did me the world of good to not go rushing head first, into their dramas.
I also realised that my feeling radar skill could be redirected, almost as if I had a remote control and change the channels. I began to choose to feel different things, like the excitement of events, nuances of music, vibrations of a neon shining flower and so on. I know this sounds very odd, but I love going around the planet feeling things. Buildings are a favourite thing to 'tune into'. I can't translate what I feel into words but it's more an emotion.
Towns and cities have a feel too. Some towns I immediately love, and others not so much. I immediately loved Melbourne, yet struggled terribly with Abu Dhabi for example. On last year's South African road trip, there was only really one place that I couldn't enjoy and that was Bethulie, all other places felt great. In the UK, I'm loving discovering the old history, plants and bird life and feeling the energy.
Today my sister and I travelled about 3 miles to a place I'd been a few times before and as I got out of the car, I felt very clearly 'I could live here'. It hit me rather surprisingly because of my previous visits and I checked in again and again internally and all I felt was a huge smile. It's an area called the Headland and gets battered by wind, which I'm not partial to. It's an older part of main Hartlepool and almost juts out into the North Sea, but I kept smiling.
The coffee shop we visited is a converted church, which I, of course, love. There's street art, a lighthouse, the harbour mouth and is the birthplace of Reg Smythe, cartoonist and creator of Andy Capp. There's multi coloured houses and a beautiful church of St Hilda. Somehow it all just sat deeper in my smiling psyche. My feeling mode was one of 'yes'!
Now what do I do with this feeling? Well, nothing, right now other than let it percolate nicely in my blood. The planet has stunning liveable places and I'm feeling quite fortunate to feel my way through all of them. I'm grateful now, for this feeling gift of mine, that used to feel like a burden. It's expanded my awareness and as weird as it is, I love it.
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