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Writer's pictureCathie Rooyen

Feeling the feels

Thursday 5th May 2022 I usually write very emotionally. With words, I try to decipher feelings and to paint descriptions with emotions. This consistant travel writing, since 1st of July last year has been quite different from my usual style.  It was more of a daily account of events rather than feelings.  An old piece of writing popped up in my Facebook memories today, from the 'notes' application. Remember those? I enjoyed rambling in notes on my media platform stable, but now I can't find how to access them unless they show up as memories.  After the initial surprise as seeing the 'note', I read it and was quite touched by it. I was surprised by my feelings about my feelings. Today I was discussing my form of therapy that I do, with my friend, on our way to the oncology clinic. I was quite impressed by how I explained it all. Unfortunately I'm not feeling as succinct now but sometimes the flaky-finding-the-good-in-everything character forgets that my brain works in different and sometimes clever ways. Feelings have always been my dominant compass. But, for most of my life, my fear-feelings hid the optimistic within.

After the clinic visit, I was feeling brave in searching for the entrance to the farm I have always wondered about, when seeing it from the highway. I drove right through the open gates, feeling amazed that yet again, another quiet 'wish' was coming to life. That wish of seeing this place up close.  I made a video... I'm so glad to listen to my feelings. 

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