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Writer's pictureCathie Rooyen

Directions

Once upon a 30 year old me, I was too scared to go different routes. I would drive or walk the same way, all the time. My anxiety at getting lost was enormous. Plus I always felt that I needed to get to the destination as soon as possible. The roses remained unsmelled, and dogs remained unpatted.

Now, I sometimes feel a tremor of that anxiety but it no longer keeps me hostage in fear.


Three things are responsible for changing that particular fear.

  1. My inner work -in particular-tapping

  2. Running

  3. Cellphones with maps

I now relish new roads where I can see different houses, dogs or hidden secret gardens.



Today I drove through different roads to get to my destination and I was 11 minutes late. I am never late. Well, I used to never be late. My anxiety didn't rise to extreme levels and I apologised appropriately but no longer the anxious 'apologising profusely'.


My life has less definite specific direction but I do know that I am headed to the sea.


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