Tuesday 3rd October 2023.
This date was etched into my psyche in 2007 when my older sister died from breast cancer. She was glamorous, chic, strong, hard working, thorough, fun and mischievous, relentless, passionate, trendsetter, considerate and a dedicated teacher. She was many other things too, to many different people but to me she was my big sister.
The pain of her loss has eased over the years but the hole that she left behind stays there, somewhere in the psyche. I try catch a glimpse of her flat from the Paisley train, expecting the red Ford Fiesta to be sitting there waiting. I look for memories of her all over although I no longer wince at the thought, but smile instead.
She was the first of us seven siblings to leave South Africa, twice. On her first attempt, she was a young 16 year old aching to get away from the strict school of the dusty town in South Africa. She missed us all too much and returned 3 months later. Her permanent move was in 1985. At the age of 24 she set herself up to become a 'mature student' and qualified as a teacher in 1993 (I think 🤔) But she did it, the first of us kids to graduate. On her own steam, after working 3 years in a photo development factory (yes, how strange that sounds), she qualified for the study grant. She loved college and the whole teaching field and everything that went with it, apart from the Head Teacher perhaps, lol.
I was in awe of her and possibly a touch jealous. Her beauty was so effortless and she always turned heads when we were out. She had a cutting tongue though, so she would tell people off if they did something she didn't like and that was before she learned how to use her 'teacher voice'.
One year, when she visited us in Johannesburg, she lay on the lawn and marvelled at the blue blue sky. I didn't really understand why she made such a fuss but I've become appreciative of it now, myself. She brought her man over to South Africa to be married and her family expanded with her giving birth to a gorgeous son in 1998. She loved him so deeply and so ferociously and it was amazing to see because of the limited time I got to spend with them. My nephew was the first offspring not born in South Africa, so I didn't get to see her pregnant and I teased her, because it seemed like she'd borrowed this baby.
In a way, we're all borrowed - living on limited time and Joanne's life being cut so soon, had a huge effect on my own life. I have the privilege of older age, of watching her son grow into a handsome, fantastic man. I have the gift of life and every day I'm grateful, but today I'm especially so.
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