Sunday 17th September 2023
One of the great aspects of meeting new people on this life journey of mine, is the opportunity to explain myself from scratch. This can prove quite complicated though and sometimes I sound like a jumbled crazy person. My process of thought and thinking is very convoluted and full of stories and contradiction as I realise that my core values may have changed as my circumstances have changed.
Years ago, a friend and I presented life coaching workshops in South Africa. This was before any formal qualifications were in place for this career and in fact we were part of an initial group who were developing the criteria for the Seta skills. (Seta is for education standards and education). One of the main aspects in the coaching was naming and understanding our core values. I struggle to name my personal values in a succinct manner, hence my haphazard explanations as to who I am and what makes me tick. But, I do enjoy debates about big life things, and beliefs and conspiracy theories.
I love psychology and what makes people unique. I love exploring how people think, discovering what thrills another, and what makes people tick. My challenge is to not take any criticism of my haphazard thinking, personally. My crazy way has served me for 57+ years and it took me a very long time to accept that my brain is busy, over analytical and super sensitive. I'm an emotional busy body, I overthink, overfeel, and overcare and I love myself for all of it.
Do I have all my own answers? Never, because every new answer births a new question. I'll probably never have a calm, still mind. But I do have a logical approach to my mental quagmire. I love my critical thinking yet sometimes believe in magic and fantasy. I love my contradictory way of being completely calm in my own internal chaos. My last few years of solo life have been fascinating in allowing my inner chaos to guide me. From dressing up in wigs and characters, to my travels, writing, back to TV work, therapy mode, music fan, cemetery cleaner, building lover, tour guide training, voice artist training, to city stomper ... they've all fulfilled so many aspects of myself and helped me understand myself.
I love people, I love the prospect of getting to know new people and possibly even romance. It's an unexpected and surprising prospect but in these last few years of traveling, I've grown to say 'never say never'.
Carpe Diem!
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