Tuesday 2nd May 2023
A restless night had me up early when sister was making sure she could dry her hair before the power cut at 6am. I remember hearing the hairdryer and then I had the best sleep of the night. I didn't hear her leave! I always used to love that hour of sunrise sleep. Somehow I always feel safer, like I made it through the night or something.
My day had me pop in by a friend who was struggling a little emotionally. We chatted and she became aware that the word (and feeling) joy, was rather frightening. We played around with the translation into Afrikaans and did some narrowing down of the term. Joy seemed elusive and I shared with her my daily habit of looking for joy. It's simpler than it seems. I pointed out to her that it could be in truly appreciating the moment, a sip of coffee, her cigarette, her view, her favourite series... She suddenly realised that it wasn't going to disappear and that she could trust the moment.
I think as young females we are taught that the world is a threatening, dangerous place and we must always be on the alert. Sadly, it is a reality for many, but we don't appreciate how our bodies learn to cope with this as survival mechanisms. A glimpse of joy can threaten the perceived safety so we learn not to trust joy to stay. That's why I find it daily. Like all emotions, it passes but it doesn't mean that because we felt something once, we aren't going to feel it again.
My joy was stalled a little, after I sat at the dentist with my mouth open for longer than I expected. Fortunately all looks good on new x-rays so he did a scrape and polish, and when I could close my mouth, my joy came back, lol.
I then pushed myself even more by doing some packing and sorting. I think by putting aside what I want to take now will help me streamline the pile daily, until it's time to fill my backpack. I'm not normally this efficient but I did find some joy in emptying my shelves at my sister's place.
Keep looking for the joy!
Comments