It was strange waking up to an 'empty day'. But the realisation that the fan was off meant that our loadshedding was still in effect. I suddenly got the urge to go for a run and check the sunny view up close. However the gate wanted electricity. There was a brief moment of contemplating climbing over the waist-high picket fence but I decided that I would be forcing the issue. As I walked back inside I felt my hips squeal a little and I realised that my body might be physically tired.
I know it seems strange to think that I might have stress, while living my enviable life, but I also know that the body is a strange thing.
I also know the physical power of grief, no matter what the head is doing, the body can still react. My Dad's passing is less than a month and I have been on full steam since. I understand that the effect of loss has an unseen physical effect so the timing of this rest period is perfect.
Collective grief is also a thing that I witnessed and personally experienced.
Neat piles of sadness tucked away in a dark corner somewhere that can get triggered at the strangest times.
We keep thinking emotions are rational and controllable. But emotions have physical chemical reactions in the body. An accumulation of chemicals create explosions of
Tears
Anger
Ecstasy
Art...
I'm mindful of my physical body right now, today where the view is a tonic for my eyes and the silence a balm for my racing mind. Except my mind wants to argue... haha.
P.S. I later found out that the sideways fence has wide open gaps that I could have gone through to have my run.
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