Friday 29th December 2023
The whole week it's been feeling like Friday and when it finally arrives, I think it's Saturday. Confused I am.
If you're a regular reader of this blog you can probably tell when I don't have much to say. Tonight is one of those times. Immersed in my dogsitting job that is my daily life. Of course I have gazillions of random thoughts firing off but nothing large enough to write about.
This morning I had some excitement by running outside the estate again and seeing some amazing birds. Two eagles in fact, but again to write 300 words about that, which I could do, might be a boring read.
Now don't get me wrong dear reader, I don't write for you, I write this for me. Although I'm very glad to have you along. It's my daily record and future memory jolter but it's digital and organised by the web hosting service. I've kept a journal for most of my life, not necessarily as diligent as I currently am but it's a nice reference point plus I can read how my life has changed. However all the diaries from last century are paper. Paper needs storage and they are heavy to carry. So I'm doing this blog as my 'evening pages' and adventure tracker without the weight of paper.
This time of the year has most people reflecting back and sometimes the days and months slip into one big generalisation. I'm no different because I tend to spend a lot of time thinking back. However I used to get stuck in the past and that clouds the future. The past is safer for many people because it's done and the future can be petrifying because there's the possibility of change. I was one of those who was afraid of change. What if I do something wrong? What if I make a mistake? This thinking used to fuel my underlying anxiety but that has completely gone. Now I relish change.
Okay it's turning into a longer post than I expected, haha. My writing has kept track of the evidence of who I was and who I have become. I might've argued with you about the scaredy cat who would always drive the same route to work and never just turn down a street to simply see what's down there. My sheer terror about talking to random people in a shop, on a street or my absolute worst... on the telephone, seems so different from who I am now.
Fear did all of that. Okay that could fill a book on its own, but not tonight. Tonight I'm thankful that I have this small device to store all my ramblings on, the ability to correct spelling once my sister proof reads it in the morning. I'm thankful too, for enjoying finding the words in my haphazard way, to sum up my day.
Thanks for reading!
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